Two months ago, I met accidentally with my old friend, Jenny. She was my classmate in high school. We had not been in touch for almost ten bloody years. Wow... It was amazing how much she could change in those years. She is definitely more prosperous but hmmm... seems larger. Well, I have to admit that my body is not slim either. Since having two kids, I became plus size too!

However, when I saw her, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Jenny was one of the favorite, most attractive girls in our high school. Her slim body always made me jealous through the high school years. What surprised me was how gorgeous she still was particularly with regard to her clothes. She was wearing a light blue dress that suited her so well, that she looked as adorable as she had 10 years previously, even though her body had changed dramatically.

I could not help my self - I was jealous of her appearance. I always have difficulties in finding great fitting clothes in my size that look stylish and adorable. I noticed that my body was actually not so different from hers, but she still looked so much more attractive because of her fabulous outfit. When we talked, I couldn’t stop asking her where she managed to find such gorgeous clothes in her size.

Fortunately for me, she generously told me how to choose the perfect clothes for our body size. She taught me how to dress so I could still look attractive even though I do not have a slim and ideal body. However, the best advice Jenny was able to share with me was that no matter what kind of clothes I chose, I have to feel comfortable with what is under the clothing, me. Well, I aspire to be as attractive as Jenny and try to imitate her positive body image, even though I am not nearly as slim as a model.

Sometimes, when I have nothing to do, I love to just lie down and let my imagination come alive, especially when I feel distressed about my recent weight increase. It is the worst nightmare ever having to attend a party of any kind, not having any idea which clothes make you look good enough to mingle and fit in among other pretty and attractive women. It is hard to find attractive clothes in my size. It often seems as though designers only make a clothes for skinny and ideal sized women only. It is so very challenging!

Therefore, when I lie down, I start to wonder why clothes should play be such a huge part in our lives, especially for women. I remember one story from the Bible concerning the first human, Adam.

Once upon a time, God wanted to create one creature that could control all creatures on earth. Therefore, he made the first man in the world, Adam and put him in The Garden of Eden. Adam lived happily at that time. Soon, he began to feel lonely. So God decided to create a woman for Adam – Eve. At that time they were totally naked, neither feeling shy or embarrassed.

But the devil did not like this. He did not like to see God caring so much about Adam and Eve. Therefore, he decided to seduce Adam and Eve by encouraging them to eat the forbidden fruit, even though God already told them to not touch it.

When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, suddenly they began to feel shyness and embarrassment. They realized that they were naked and started to grab leaves to cover their body. And thus the first clothes appeared in the world.

Well, I have a recurring silly thought. If Eve had not been seduced into eating the forbidden fruit, we would not have the problems and difficulties in finding clothes that fit our bodies today! Yeah....it’s just a silly thought....but ….

People say that children should not lie; they must be honest and truthful above all else. I always ask my 5-year-old son, Jeremy, about my newest style, or his views on any new clothes I buy. I have to admit that it is very rare that I can find good clothes with a good fit for my full size body. Recently I have put on more then a few extra pounds, so right now I am overweight.

In the past when I would buy a new dress, I would ask Jeremy for his approval or at least his agreement that he thought Mommy looked pretty. I was never sure if Jeremy understood completely what I was trying to ask. Mostly he answered by shaking his head or continuing to nod; Just those two actions, nothing more. It was funny to see.

I remember, last month, I asked him about my appearance before going to the wedding party of a friend. Every time I tried something different on, I asked him, did mom look pretty? Unfortunately he kept shaking his head, so I decided to change and wear something different, but he still kept shaking his head. So I changed my clothes again until finally he nodded his head. He helped me so much. However, since I put on weight, Jeremy always shakes his head when I ask him how I look. It is difficult to get perfect clothes for my recently fuller sized body.

So, here I am trying to find great clothes that can make my son nod his head when I ask him about my appearance. I know for sure that if he nods his head when asked about my appearance, it must mean I look good in whatever it is I am wearing. His eyes seem so bright and innocent when they look at me, but I know they tell the truth.

So, if you want to know the honest truth about how you really look, even if only conveyed by a nod or a shake of the head, why don’t you try the same way as me? Why not try asking your own child if you really want to know the truth...

Somehow my life has been reduced to buying clothes and groceries. Usually when I feel stressed out, the only thing that helps is to go to every shopping center in town and shop for groceries and clothing! Shop till I drop! Let me be honest – I only mention groceries as it somehow makes my life sound more interesting! I have no problems whatsoever in the grocery department! I know the kind of food I like. I know how to prepare it, and, most importantly, when and when not to indulge myself with luxurious and exotic cuisines. Groceries are easy to obtain, and when, like carrots, they happen to sport bright, interesting colors, I pretty much take that as a sign of freshness, and should the carrots also come super sized... well, that’s even more to enjoy!

Of course the opposite, more or less, can be said of my clothing. I have made peace with my body. I stopped wishing for a waif-like body eons ago. However, I still find it hard to find something that I really like even though my demands are modest; something that doesn’t closely resemble a tablecloth found in the maternity section of Wal-Mart would be wonderful. Better yet, something that doesn’t look drab compared to whatever the life and soul of the party is wearing!

I know that a lot of people, even smaller-sized, find it hard to discover that special garment – you know, the one that fits so perfectly and looks so winning that all eyes are turned in admiration! Yes, even a waif-sized person can be uncertain about her wardrobe. Fundamentally, there is no point in whining about this fact – but yes, I wish everything could be as simple and as satisfying as buying a fresh carrot!